Just simple update about me

Hello Life,

Lets see, What is new with me? Other than I graduated from college there is nothing else new..
I still cannot find a job no matter how many times I submit my CV. Anyways, I was starting to feel a bit weird and unwell before yesterday and it simply hit full force on my body at night and the whole day yesterday, thankfully I am way better today.

few more days till our results are out and I'm sort of freaking out. What I really need as for now, is to just find a job and start working so I can save up for my departureeeeeeeeeeeee.

I hate how I am going to break my parents' hearts but I have to do it or else I will destroy them if I stay longer in Bahrain which is totally not fair to them.

Anyways that is that I can say for the most updated part, OH and I got a tattoo..


Have a nice day xx

Quick post !!

Hi,

How are you today?

Want to what is okay? I shall tell you what is okay. It is okay that you are sitting inside your room doing absolutely nothing at all and reflecting on what you have done through out your life till this day. Because in all honestly that is what I am doing now. And it is perfectly fine.

Every once in a while any kind of individual needs to sit down and have some bigger picture thought in their head. You as an individual, putting everything and everyone aside, need to think about yourself, your life and what you have planned for the future. Okay not necessarily planned, maybe thought of, is that better?

I am sitting right here in my room thinking of what has happened to me. I joined a program last year besides my internships and my extra subjects (Which oppose to my fright, I actually got good grades YEEY), anyhow, the consultancy program I joined was a roller coaster for me, I was up at the beginning but wanted to surely quit it at the end, don't get me wrong though, I still gave it the time of the day and did my work as one of my group mates was my friend and never stopped pushing to finish the program. The point is it taught me to be patient, to do my job no matter how much I hated it because to be honest I was actually good at it. Consultancy also taught me to have a wider view of whats happening and not to keep my mind close to whatever I am surrounded to; And guess what WE WON !!!!!! great ha !

That aside, I am not enjoying my life at the moment, I see myself saying yes to almost everything and pilling up my plate with unnecessary options. I am doing that because I still have no idea what I want to do besides leaving Bahrain and singing.

I thought of starting a YouTube channel and have stated it out loud that I would, But then I came to realization that I am financially not capable and personally I really can't sing infront of people as my dad might end up disowning me or beating me up. (He is not a bad father, It is just that his beliefs are different than mine).

I want to someday be free, I know deep down I will. I just have to stand tall and have faith that I will be able to fight to my life and to fight for myself.


Happy day everyone.

My supposedly new year post...

Hello Hello people,

I am so sorry I have been out lately, well I haven’t been on this blog for”lets be honest” more than a while, I have been caught up with internships and extra subjects I have taken this semester, lets recap what have happened to me this year.

1. 1.       I GOT CAUGHT: yet you read that right ,I got caught by my dad doing this he doesn’t believe in such as drinking, smoking, hanging around gay people “ which are my best  buds” which he thought were my boyfriends, caught going to clubs and doing normal teenage wild stuff, well they aren’t that wild but you get my drill here. And that all led him to losing his trust in me and being very strict, I understand that completely and whether I am complaining or not, to be honest I have brought this upon me for not being more careful and all the lies I said made even worse.
2. 2.       Made friends and lost friends: I have truly made a lot of friends this year even though I tried to distance myself from a lot of people because I didn’t want them to get caught up with the drama that my life was pouring, first I made friends not necessarily new people, perhaps they were acquaintance at some point but are now some of my good trusted friends. I lost friends, meaning dint completely lost contact with them, more like we stopped being there for each other even if we were in the same room we would talk but aren’t friends anymore, there is no trust, no dependence, and mostly no loyalty or care about each other, which sucks to be honest specially if you have known them for a very long time, maybe someday who knows we would reconnect but as far as I see it right now, I cant trust them yet with my own life.
3. 3.       Stood up for myself and my beliefs: this is a very huge step for me, I am slowly taking charge of, I have changed as a person when it comes to beliefs and values, my mentality have completely changed, as an observant, I have seen and I have understood, I have felt and I have balanced it in my mind and heart. You don’t change in one night, it takes time for people to be who they are, it takes hardships and experiences whether good or bad to make a person who they are now, while standing tall. And hopefully I will keep on standing tall for my beliefs and value to whoever it is infront of me whether it’s a family, friend or a stranger, one step at a time.
4. 4.       In and out of shallow relationships: those hook ups and dates, they get tiring, you say that if could do it, avoid using feelings with those hook ups, but somehow you get caught up with one single action from the other party. Those one time two time dates, those are very tiring as well, no matter how much a person tries not to expect something out of it, you honestly end up feeling something, and it depends as well what kind of a person you are sensitive or not, it all comes down to how you cover it up but not really not feel it, because you will at the end of the day, in your bed, be flooded with emotions and there my friend is where perspectives, ideas and a whole lot of changing happens to a person.

Darkness

I crawl under my bed seeking for darkness,

I crawl under my bed seeking for security in darkness,

I crawl under my bed wanting the noises in my head to stop,

I crawl under my bed longing for your warm touch,

I may be the clinger,

Could be the whiner, 

But the most I needed you in was the moment I crawled under my bed,

Too close,yet too far is how we are,

distance was nothing between our loving hearts,

distance is everything the moment I stopped hearing your voice,

Yet I crawled under my bed seeking for you, 

seeking for the unknown to bring you to me,

I crawled under my bed wanting you close to me.

My Mottos

Hello there,

Here is a song for you 

This song was sang originally by The Script.. 

Have fun x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbfeSImDntw&feature=youtu.be

"Life goes on.."
&
" Let it be .."

These are my mottos, lets start with "Life goes on" , you know why do I always say that? Because whatever I do and whatever I say life will keep going on whether I like it or not.

One way or another life is not going to wait for you to recover from your fall, it is not going to stand by your side to pick you up, It will only keep going on, that is life and that is the beauty of it, because it teaches us to stand on our own, to learn how to survive in the most minor cases or worst scenarios, life will keep going on, and what we only have to do in return is to also keep going on.

I find it a selfish act that some people give up on their lives and commit suicide, you might think oh look what could she know about worst things in life, well I have my own demons and own secrets that made me who I am today, I sometimes fall on my bed sobbing my heart out, but then I stand up again knowing that whoever is up there, MEANING GOD !! gave me whatever trials knowing that I can handle them, knowing I will get over them sooner or later, these bad things that happen to us, define us, remember that, but I am not saying that only the bad things that define us, because good things make us appreciate whatever that comes our way...

No matter how hurtful memories are, don't block them, being from the person that you love the most beating you up to death to even a stranger calling you a foul word.. keep it there .. fresh .. let the feelings be there, because the fact the you are actually remembering them and are alive to remember only means you have a chance to be stronger and to not let it happen again, because you are alive, you are not only breathing, but you are living , so make whatever sadness in your life be happiness.

Everything in your life will change eventually if only you take control of your life, remember that whatever is happening to your life is a result of your doings and decisions that you took action on. That is how life goes on, you go on too...

I have learnt this the hard way, and I am more than happy that I did, because I wont be that person that just read a book and figured out things, I am that person who read books and experienced life connected the dots and figured out how things work.

Recently I have been working extra hard on changing my future, Because I for an instant wont allow other people to run my life, to a draw me a path to walk through, whats the use of living if you will only let people not guide you but push you through a path.

The physical pain, the oversleeping, over eating is all a mental thought projecting it into our body, people either become over weight ( like me, but dont worry I am already working on that) or too skinny that it is unhealthy because of what they are feeling, what they are keeping inside. As for me I am going to not go on a diet but eat healthy, I am not going to exercise, I am going to make it a fun habit of dancing, of moving my body, you choose things, choose words, choose actions the way you want them to be for you to like them and for those acts to be easier and more acceptable, it is all in your hands.

and in the end you still have to "let it be" something I got from a Beatles song, you know why because sometimes life gives you happy surprises in return of you turning your life for the better .. you did your best and you know its your best.. let it be by life giving you the best results .. it might not come sooner but it will definitely come later .. as there is a saying that somehow goes like this " If it is not okay, then it is not the end ..."

One final snap to you guys..

Wanna have a better life, start with baby steps and before you know you'll be running a marathon of YOUR life .. <3

Have a wonderful day/ night wanderer x

What is she doing ?

Hello fellow wanderer,

Please what this video, The XX are one of my favorite bands they are timeless ..
 this is their song infinity ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQsUs4yGymM 

In my own ocean of thoughts I came across a thought,
Why was I born in a country in never felt a belonging sense in ?

and then moved on and swan to the answer..

It was cause not that I dint belong, I actually might have once, twice, or even trice, in other words, I do belong sometimes in it, but I don't really feel like I am going to grow older in this country.

I love Bahrain, It's not bad, actually not bad at all, I just know deep down myself that I don't belong, they way my mum knew she had to venture into another country because she had to help her family, but deep down, I know she felt that something else was meant to happen to her, not in her own country but in Bahrain, she was meant to marry dad, and meant to be a mother to me and my sister.

So I work hard, I work hard not to pleasure myself with clubs, drinks, or boys, I work hard to be able to find my happiness in a different country.

Some might think, oh what is she doing ?
why is she working hard to do that to herself while she has a pretty good life where she is..

but have you really asked me?
ME?

Yes I do have a good life,
I eat more than 3 meals a day,
I have got my room
my own phone
my own laptop
almost my own car
I go out
I have alot of people that I know
and few are those my trusted friends

but its different when its your peace of mind that you dont have,
not matter what you have
what you own
once you dont have that peace of mind ...

you have almost nothing ..

So will hopefully be able to venture into the world of ups and downs ..
and somewhere I will find my happiness and peace of mind...

A not so well written introduction about myself

Hello wanderers,

Here's the thing, I made this blog to just write down thoughts whether I rhyme them or not, a friend of mine convinced me enough to start a blog about my thoughts, and have a private diary of myself, since well I dint put up my real name, this blog wont be creating an issue to me.

You can call me rhythm, why rhythm if you may ask, well because I actually like the name, its different, unique as they might say, if I ever have a daughter I would definitely think of naming her Rhythm.

Anyways, I'm a 20-1 years old girl/lady/woman.. whatever you wanna call my gender.. see what I did with my age.. cool ha.. I know I know... I LOVE SINGING, but somehow singing isnt my thing, I get alot of comments saying "oh you've got a nice voice" but why is it that I am not really convinced, I to be honest want to go to singing classes, I want to learn how to play the piano, I want to write music, ahhhh I could go on and on about what I really want to do, People might think, oh see this girl dreaming her heart out just to get it broken , but really doing something you love is the best thing ever, oh you also should know that I am the most random person, I might be talking about something and the next second I'll be switching to the most random thing ever, that could not even be close to the previous topic, btw English isn't my native language, I must state this to you guys, I speak English, Arabic and well Tagalog, you may ask why Tagalog, well because my mum is filipina =D HA ! and guess what I'm a total loser in all of those 3 languages !! what a fail.

anywhooooo, here is the thing, I think way too much, I say sometimes think there is a different human being in my head that is leading another life, but really its just the way I feel and think subconsciously that sometimes surprises me specially when I come to realize what my thoughts were, I even wonder sometimes if they are mine, how do I even come up with such thoughts, but there they are being created in my head by the cooperation of my brain cells that seem to be enjoying each other with thoughts. !

So, please do forgive me, but I am the most random person, you will definitely have a hard time catching up to what I'm saying.. but oh well, I am just being me, the way you are being you.. ;)


Have a good day/ night