My supposedly new year post...

Hello Hello people,

I am so sorry I have been out lately, well I haven’t been on this blog for”lets be honest” more than a while, I have been caught up with internships and extra subjects I have taken this semester, lets recap what have happened to me this year.

1. 1.       I GOT CAUGHT: yet you read that right ,I got caught by my dad doing this he doesn’t believe in such as drinking, smoking, hanging around gay people “ which are my best  buds” which he thought were my boyfriends, caught going to clubs and doing normal teenage wild stuff, well they aren’t that wild but you get my drill here. And that all led him to losing his trust in me and being very strict, I understand that completely and whether I am complaining or not, to be honest I have brought this upon me for not being more careful and all the lies I said made even worse.
2. 2.       Made friends and lost friends: I have truly made a lot of friends this year even though I tried to distance myself from a lot of people because I didn’t want them to get caught up with the drama that my life was pouring, first I made friends not necessarily new people, perhaps they were acquaintance at some point but are now some of my good trusted friends. I lost friends, meaning dint completely lost contact with them, more like we stopped being there for each other even if we were in the same room we would talk but aren’t friends anymore, there is no trust, no dependence, and mostly no loyalty or care about each other, which sucks to be honest specially if you have known them for a very long time, maybe someday who knows we would reconnect but as far as I see it right now, I cant trust them yet with my own life.
3. 3.       Stood up for myself and my beliefs: this is a very huge step for me, I am slowly taking charge of, I have changed as a person when it comes to beliefs and values, my mentality have completely changed, as an observant, I have seen and I have understood, I have felt and I have balanced it in my mind and heart. You don’t change in one night, it takes time for people to be who they are, it takes hardships and experiences whether good or bad to make a person who they are now, while standing tall. And hopefully I will keep on standing tall for my beliefs and value to whoever it is infront of me whether it’s a family, friend or a stranger, one step at a time.
4. 4.       In and out of shallow relationships: those hook ups and dates, they get tiring, you say that if could do it, avoid using feelings with those hook ups, but somehow you get caught up with one single action from the other party. Those one time two time dates, those are very tiring as well, no matter how much a person tries not to expect something out of it, you honestly end up feeling something, and it depends as well what kind of a person you are sensitive or not, it all comes down to how you cover it up but not really not feel it, because you will at the end of the day, in your bed, be flooded with emotions and there my friend is where perspectives, ideas and a whole lot of changing happens to a person.